I really haven't written about a recent event in my life. Now I feel that it is time to get it all down on paper, I mean, type it on the computer. And just put it out there.
In Oct. 2005, our family took a huge leap of faith and moved across the country, to the Midwest. I had lived only a handful of places, all in the same state, for the first 30 years of my life. Soon after the move, I think in less than a week, I had a friend. I met her at my church. She came over to meet me with a few other women, I was distant; I was unsure; but she was there.
Later she called me and I put her off. I was busy, filling my time with nothing. I was lonely and lost. She called again and with a little hesitation, we got our girls together to play. My girls could make friends, but I really didn't need one, I thought. Soon we started getting together A LOT, having our girls play a couple of afternoons a week. Our husbands also had jobs that required working late into the night. We would set up meals together, and late-nights to work on our scrapbooks, or just watch a movie, recent TV show, or just talk. I needed her. She listened and understood me. I was a night owl, and loved to make runs to Target, or other stores after the kids went to bed. She would come with me, we laughed, we were there for one another.
She saved me.
I really didn't know what it was going to be like when I moved away from friends and family that I was so close to. I was sometimes even bitter, I didn't think that at my age I needed to be making new friends, like my children were. I had all my close-knit friends at home. But now this was home. I needed someone, and she was there. Now as I sit here with tears, tears of true sadness. My friend is not coming back. Last summer, she moved, at the time, for good. But then, they still had a house here, and for most of the year, I thought she could be coming back. A glimmer of hope. But she is not. For the past few weeks, I have been trying to really understand, and to be strong. I have not felt sadness, but happiness for her new life adventure.
Now this might be selfish, but maybe she was put here, just for me. Just for what I needed. Just to be my friend, when I thought I didn't need one, but I did; yes, I did.
Last Friday, I was alone in my car, listening to my favorite CD and a song came on that made me instantly think of her. Because I was alone, I wept. I pulled over and just cried. Sometimes you just need a good cry. For clarity, for understanding, or just for sadness. I am truly grateful for my friend. For her place in my life. Even with being only a phone call away now, she was there in the beginning. The beginning of a journey that has made me a little stronger, and a little weaker at the same time. She is what you call a true friend.
I usually don't get this deep, or this emotional, on this little blog of mine. I know that there are many other stressful events happening all around the world. And having a friend move away, might be so small compared to others life experiences. But I needed to say it, I needed it here. Maybe it will help me be just a little kinder, a little more understanding, or just get me to go see someone that may need a friend too.